


Hearts Wide Open

by shipallllltheships



Category: Rookie Blue
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-28
Updated: 2014-07-16
Packaged: 2018-01-21 03:52:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1536530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shipallllltheships/pseuds/shipallllltheships
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is going to be a series of Gail/Holly vignettes filling in some of the blanks that we didn't get a chance to see in S4. Some extra looks back into their relationship as it developed. Rated T for now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place immediately after episode 4x09, post-batting cages.

_"I think if Gail had been born deaf, dumb and with no eyeballs she still would have been drawn to Holly. It's not about gender in this case. It's about when your heart splits open and its guts are splatter all over the walls. It's about falling in love." ~ Charlotte Sullivan (Gail Peck)_

* * *

 

"Wait, wait, I'm sorry. You're telling me that he had a full British accent?"

They had given up on batting practice and were leaning against the wall. Holly was curled over, holding her stomach, almost crying with laughter. Gail was barely holding it together, just trying to get the story out.

"He…he…he called it his  _flat_ ," she choked out.

Holly gave up trying to keep herself upright and fell to her side. Gail whooped and reached down, touching her shoulder and giggling.

"You ok?"

Holly sprawled out, trying to catch her breath. She kicked her legs up and propped her chin in her hands. She breathed deeply, still chuckling. "Where does your mother find these people?"

"Well, you know. Only the best for her daughter." She rolled her eyes.

"And she had another one lined up for tonight?"

"Yeah. Probably a pureblood Norwegian prince." She looked at Holly. "Pureblood, like, incest."

She laughed. "Yeah. I got it." She cocked her head. "So why'd you cancel?"

"You heard the incest part, right?"

Holly sat up and scooted next to her again. "Seriously. Why?"

Their shoulders brushed against each other lightly and Gail felt it again. That… _feeling_. The same one she'd had in the coatroom, when they'd…

She shook her head, fighting a blush. "It was a rough day. I just…I couldn't do it. Spend the rest of the night trying to fake being happy for some idiot." She glanced towards Holly and caught her gaze for a moment before turning away, avoiding the intensity burning in her eyes. She shrugged lightly. "I wanted to try just…not faking it."

She felt Holly reach up and gently tuck a loose strand of blonde hair behind her ear. The helmet had mussed up her hair, freeing some of it from her ponytail. Normally that would have bothered her. She was surprised to find that she hadn't even noticed, not until a soft hand had fixed it. Not until every nerve ending in her body went numb except the ones on the left side of her face, which felt electric. On fire. As if the only thing her body was currently capable of processing was the feeling of Holly's fingers on her skin.

She quickly stood up, trying to shake off the intimate moment. She looked down at the brunette.

"Wanna go to the Penny? I'm buying."

Holly gave her a small smile, clearly a little more reluctant than the blonde to let the moment pass. There were a few seconds of silence before she tacitly agreed to Gail's request to move on and nodded. "Sounds good."

Gail stuck out her hand, offering it to Holly, who considered it for another moment before taking it. She pulled her upwards, placing a hand on her shoulder to steady her as she stood. This time, Holly was the one who pulled her hand away, reaching down to grab her bag.

"Come on, slugger," she said, glancing over her shoulder as she headed towards the door. "Hopefully you're better at drinking than hitting."

"Oh, you  _know_  I am," Gail replied, chasing after her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They had claimed a booth in the corner of the Penny. The bar was nearly deserted. It had been a rough day for the 15th Precinct, and everyone had dispersed to their homes. They had started off sitting on opposite sides of the booth, but somehow, Gail wasn't really sure how, they were now sitting next to each other, their feet kicked up and resting on the opposite seat. Gail downed the rest of her drink and looked at Holly.

"Another?"

Holly had her head back against the seat and she looked at the blonde with a smile. "Last one."

Gail gave her a half-smirk. "We'll see." She stood up and accidentally knocked her bag to the ground, spilling the contents. Holly rolled out of the booth to help gather her things and she picked up the small stuffed dog for Christian.

"Your sidekick?" she asked, holding it up and cocking her eyebrow.

"That's Baby Puppy 2," she muttered, grabbing it back. A confused look from Holly prompted her to explain further. "One of the officers got it for Christian. Baby Puppy 1 is in evidence."

"Aw, that was sweet of them."

Gail rolled her eyes. "Yeah, that's Price alright. Sweet as pie."

Holly looked at her curiously. "And that's a problem for you." It was a statement of fact, not a question.

"It's not a…ugh, hang on." She sauntered to the bar and got two more drinks for them, carrying them back to the booth. She sat down heavily across from the brunette and cocked her head. "She's just…what you see is what you get. There's no mystery, and there's no depth. She's just so perfectly…Chloe. All the time."

Holly gave her a small smile. "And that scares you." Another statement.

"Hey," Gail replied, narrowing her eyes. "I'm a cop. I don't get scared."

"Of course you don't," Holly said sweetly. "Except when it comes to letting your guard down. That, I think, terrifies you."

Gail just stared at her.

"I've got your number, Peck," she continued. "You put up these walls to keep the world out. You put on a tough mask so that everyone thinks: Gail Peck, hardass cop. Gail Peck, member of a dynasty. Gail Peck," she smirked, "too cool for school."

"Hey, I'll have you know that I was at the top of our class at the Academy."

Holly just smiled at her. "Gail Peck, accomplished academic."

"So," Gail started, "what's wrong with that?"

Holly shrugged, still smiling. "Absolutely nothing." She leaned forward over the table, lowering her voice. "Except that you can't wear that mask 24/7. You've got it take it off sometimes." She leaned back and shrugged again. "You've gotta just…let yourself be Gail sometimes."

Gail considered this. "And if I am?" she asked, leaning forward. "What if this is me? What if this is Gail?"

Holly smiled. "Then I like Gail. A lot."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"C'mon," Holly said, taking her hand as they walked out of the bar. "We can share a cab."

Gail delicately pulled her hand away, pointing over her shoulder. "Actually…I think I'm just gonna walk."

Holly tilted her head. "It's late."

"Yeah…" Gail avoided her glance. "I…don't do cabs."

The brunette gave her a curious look. "That's a weird thing not to do."

"Yeah, I…" Gail exhaled and looked at the ground. "I was abducted and attacked by a cab driver. A few years ago. I know it's dumb, it's not like it's going to happen again. I just…I don't know."

As she spoke, Holly had been moving closer to her. She reached out now and touched Gail's arm. "Hey," she said, forcing the blonde to lift her gaze. She smiled lightly at her. "Totally understandable."

Gail forgot what they were talking about. She forgot how to speak in general. She forgot everything except exactly what Holly's hand felt like on her arm. She could only nod and hope that that was the appropriate response to whatever the brunette had just said to her.

"C'mon," Holly said, not entirely oblivious to the daze Gail was in. She moved her hand down and looped their arms together. "I'll walk you home then."

"No," Gail started to protest, "you don't have to - "

"I know," Holly said, smiling. "Look, I can grab a cab from your place, ok? I'll just feel better knowing you got home safe."

"Ok," Gail agreed, nodding. "Sure."

They turned and walked arm-in-arm down the street.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place during/post-hospital in episode 4x10

_"Hello, I'm looking for Holly Stewart?"_

_"Speaking."_

_"Do you know a woman named Gail Peck?"_

A pause _. "Yes, of course. Why? Who is this?"_

_"I'm calling from Baycrest. Ms. Peck was injured on duty today and requested that we contact you."_

Holly felt her heart thudding. Injured? What did that mean? Was she ok? Why was she calling her? Thank god she was calling her. She realized she'd been silent for too long. She should be asking these questions.

_"Injured? Is she ok? Should I come down there?"_

_"Ma'am, what is your relationship with Ms. Peck?"_

_"Her…friend. We're friends. She's a friend. A good friend."_

A pause _. "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but I can't release any information regarding Ms. Peck's condition over the phone. Her request was that we call you to secure a ride home for her. If you come down, we can give you more information."_

A ride home? So she was leaving the hospital? That day? She must be ok, right? Oh, right. Speak. _"Of course. I'll be right there."_ She hung up. Grabbed her keys. Ran out her apartment door before realizing that she wasn't wearing shoes. Ran into the apartment and pulled on sneakers and a jacket.

By the time she got to the hospital, she had talked through all the logical possibilities and was feeling calmer. If they were asking a non-relative to come to the hospital, they clearly were not about to tell her that Gail was dead. She just needed a ride home. She must be ok. She found a nurse and confirmed that. A chemical burn. It was painful, so she had been given oxycodone. She obviously couldn't drive herself home. But she was going to be just fine. Holly waited patiently. She wasn't in a rush. She'd wait for Gail as long as she needed to.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey, careful. Careful."

"Holly, I'm fine. I burned my wrist, I didn't lose a leg."

Holly stepped towards her and snaked an arm around her waist. Gail looked down. She didn't know whether it was the remaining oxy swirling through her system or something more abstract, but her head spun and she let herself lean into the brunette.

"I'm ok," she insisted quietly, even as she felt herself sinking further into the embrace.

"Sure you are," Holly agreed obligingly. "I'm just going to help you up the stairs, ok?"

"Why do you even have stairs?" Gail grumbled.

"Well, you know, I looked into having an elevator installed. Decided it wasn't worth it."

"Wait, seriously?" Gail twisted her neck to look over at her, and saw a smirk twisting at the corner of Holly's mouth. "Not fair," she muttered, "I'm very gullible right now."

They took the steps carefully, Holly refusing to let them pick up the pace. One step at a time, their movements synchronized, Holly's grip tight on Gail's waist. She knew Gail was in pain, and she knew that she'd never admit it. She also knew that she herself wasn't willing to admit how her heart had leapt into her throat when she had gotten the call that Gail was in the hospital. She'd let Gail have this one, but she still wasn't going to let her fall. She had seemed pretty sober when they left the hospital, but she knew that she still had oxycodone in her system.

They made it up the stairs and Holly led her into the bedroom. She didn't release her until she was safely seated on the bed. Gail looked up at the brunette.

"Thank you, Holly."

Holly shook her head, smiling. "Don't mention it. I'm glad you had them call me."

She looked down at her hands. "I don't…I don't have many friends."

Holly sat down next to her. "Well, you have me." She paused. "But let's try to stay out of hospitals from now on, ok?"

Gail met her gaze, staring into those deep brown eyes. "Yeah," she agreed quietly.

She flopped backwards onto the bed, flinging her arms out to the sides. Holly looked down at her. She looked like some kind of pale angel, her blonde hair loose and encircling her head like a halo. Her eyes were closed. Holly chanced a question before she lost consciousness fully.

"So, what happened back there? With that other officer?"

"McNally," Gail mumbled.

"You were upset." She paused. "You are upset."

Gail opened her eyes just so Holly could see the eye roll.

"Come on, slugger. Talk to me."

Gail groaned. "Me no talky."

Holly lay down on her side next to the blonde, propping her head up on her hand. "You can't keep things from me, Peck. You can try, but you'll give in eventually. Might as well make it sooner rather than later."

Gail rolled over, facing her, mirroring her position. She sighed. "McNally slept with Collins. My…ex."

"Ouch," Holly replied. "Is McNally…are you guys close?"

Gail gave a half-shrug. "As close as I get, I guess."

"When did you guys break up?"

"A couple of weeks ago." She looked at Holly. "I broke up with him. Because I could see that he liked Andy. McNally. I was sick of feeling like the consolation prize. Nick and I…we had dated before. We were engaged. He left me. I shouldn't have given him another chance." She paused. "I learned my lesson."

"Good," Holly said.

"Good what?" Gail asked, her eyes narrowed. "Good for McNally? Good for Collins? Yeah, it is good for them."

Holly shrugged. "Good you learned your lesson." She leaned closer to the blonde, and Gail's breath caught. She thought, for a split second, that Holly was about to kiss her again. She felt an electric current shoot through her, her fuzzy mind clearing instantaneously. She was suddenly hyperaware that she was laying on Holly's bed. She stared down at the full mouth heading towards her and licked her lips instinctively. But Holly stopped, just inches from her face.

"You should never be anyone's consolation prize," she whispered hoarsely. As if she couldn't help herself, she touched Gail's cheek lightly, running the tip of her finger down her face. The two women stared at each other, frozen. Holly cleared her throat, shaking herself out of it. She sat up, looking down at Gail.

"Get some sleep, ok?"

Gail scooted up the bed, laying her head on the pillows and crawling under the covers. Holly turned and walked towards the door, hitting the light switch on her way out.

"Wait!" Gail called.

She poked her head back in the door. "What?"

"Where are you going to sleep?"

Holly smiled. "Couch."

"I didn't mean to kick you out of your own bed," she muttered blearily. "You should stay here with me." She lifted and lowered her hand, patting the empty spot next to her.

Holly exhaled deeply. "Better not." She stood and watched Gail for another minute as the blonde snuggled into the pillows, curling onto her side. She shook her head, smiling, before walking out and shutting the door behind her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short one. Gail and Holly's first "morning after." Takes place after Gail spends the night at Holly's recovering from her trip to the hospital.

"Rise and shine, sleepyhead!" Holly bounded into the bedroom and threw open the curtains, letting the sunlight stream in and onto the blonde hair barely visible through the tangle of sheets.

Gail groaned loudly. "You have  _got_ to be kidding me." Her voice was muffled, her head shoved underneath a pillow.

"Normally, I'd let you sleep in after a trip to the hospital. But the doctor said that you'd wake up in pain and you'd need to take more meds." She plopped down on the bed next to the blonde and lifted the pillow from her head. "Wakey wakey! Time for drugs!"

Gail rolled over and stared up at her. "Holly, please.  _Please_  do not tell me that you're a morning person."

Holly smiled down at her. "You're absolutely adorable first thing in the morning."

Gail squinted at her. "And you're like a hyperactive puppy."

"Puppies are cute," Holly replied with a wink. She held her hand out, offering two small white pills to her. "Right now, you're too annoyed to notice that your wrist is killing you. So. Take these before your nervous system catches up with your brain."

She groaned again. "I thought the brain was attached to your nervous system."

Holly cocked her head, smirking. "So! Someone  _was_  paying attention in biology class." She shook the pills in her hand. "Come on. Take 'em."

Gail shot her a death stare, but sat up and held out her hand. "Fine," she agreed reluctantly. "Gimme."

Holly dropped the pills into her hand, then reached over her to grab the glass of water on the nightstand. In the process, her hand brushed Gail's thigh and the blonde jumped as if she had been electrocuted. The pills went flying through the air, and she attempted to steady herself by grabbing the sheets. On the way down, her wrist slammed against the headboard and she shrieked in pain.

"OWWW!"

She looked over at Holly. The brunette was clearly trying to control herself, but she was shaking with the exertion of trying to hold in her laughter. She glanced at Gail, eyebrows cocked. "You ok?"

Gail glared at her. "Something funny?"

Holly smirked. "You're just…insane." Somehow, this seemed like a compliment. She managed to twist her expression into one of concern as she took Gail's wrist gently. "Will you take the pills now?" she asked softly, stroking the skin around the burn.

Gail had received second-degree chemical burns from the industrial cleaner. But she was pretty sure that nothing had ever affected her nervous system the way Holly's fingers on her skin had.

She nodded, her mind racing with a vague understanding that she would have agreed to anything Holly suggested as long as she suggested it while touching her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holly's POV. The first time they meet. These were originally supposed to be roughly chronological, but I realized that I started too late and there were stories that I needed to tell that came earlier. I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think =]

“Holly, can you head down to a crime scene? We have a body.”

I looked up from my notes. “Fresh?”

“Nah. Just bones. We need samples of everything, try to figure out how long it’s been down there.”

I stood up and grabbed my bag. “Address?”

He handed me a piece of paper with the location written on it and I headed to the car. Pulled over on the road outside of the ravine. I know I’m in the right place because the woods are swarming with cops. I spot the most heavily concentrated group of uniforms and haz-mat suits and move towards them. Ducking underneath the crime scene tape, I head towards the body, already running through my checklist of what samples I need to get. I’m so focused that when I hear someone speak, the words don’t even register.

“Thanks, appreciate it.”

She speaks again. “No, I said you’re not allowed down there.”

This time, I hear her. I turn around. “Me?”

She lifts her arms in confusion. It’s like she’s saying, ‘ _Duh,’_ and I smile. She’s adorable. Must be a rookie. I definitely would have remembered seeing her.

“Oh. No, I am,” I tell her, laughing lightly. I can hardly believe I’m being forced to explain myself at a crime scene. If anyone less hot was trying to distract me right now, I’d be seriously pissed. As it stands, I’m just amused. I lift my bright red bag, a clear indicator of my status as a lab employee. “I need to get some samples.”

“Who are you?” she asks, brow furrowed.

My smile widens. She’s even cuter when she’s concerned that someone is contaminating her crime scene. “The forensic pathologist.”

“Oh,” she says, stepping closer. She licks her lips. She probably doesn’t notice that she did it, but I sure as hell do. “Well, you should have told me that before.”

I cock my head as I look at her. “Sorry, I thought it was obvious.”

“Only to nerds. Can you come back later?”

Did she just call me a nerd? I narrow my eyes at her, but can’t keep the amused smile off my face as I launch into my watered down explanation for the necessity of my presence.

“You’re not up on your medical jurisprudence. We need to determine the cause of death. I test the water for diatoms, and if we find diatoms in the bone marrow…” a thought occurs to me. “Oh, did you notice if the femur’s still intact?”

She shakes her head. The look on her face is a little hard to read. The pathologist half o my brain is on autopilot, allowing the hot girl side to roam freely. If I had to guess, she’s currently feeling a combination of annoyance and awe. I get that a lot. I smile and continue.

“I’ll check later. If the diatoms match, we know the person drowned. If there aren’t any diatoms, then we know the cause of death was something else. I’ll need to consult with the forensic anthropologist. I’ll grab some leaves, bugs, dirt so they don’t have to come back. It helps in identifying the post-mortem integral.”

“Why are you saying all these words?”

Oh my god, she’s adorable. And possibly autistic? I’m going to assume that her social ineptitudes stem from nurture instead of nature. Her nametag says Peck. As in Superintendent Peck? If that frigid woman is her mother, that could explain her apparent inability to act like a normal human being. Her expression remains grumpy as I gaze at her appraisingly.

Fascinating. And hot.

I hear the detective announce that he needs someone to go to the morgue. I tear my eyes away from her, head towards the body, just in time to hear Peck herself volunteer. I turn back, my eyebrows raised.

She shrugs. “It’s never to late to learn about medical jurisprudence.” This comment is pointedly directed at me, but I just smile. Something about her disposition makes me want to climb inside her head, smooth out all the wrinkles in her forehead from the inside out. The sarcasm drips from her mouth, but I know her type. We’ll see if she can take it as good as she gives it. There’s gotta be something worth hiding underneath that rude, brassy, hardass cop exterior. I intend to find out what it is. The best treasure is always buried the deepest. I kneel next to the mossy bones that brought me here and suppress a grin. Medical jurisprudence also dictates that I don’t look so delighted in the presence of a corpse.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I drive us back to the lab. She sits silently in the passenger seat next to me. I think she is pouting that I haven’t let her drive. I’d explained that the medico-van wasn’t like her squad car, and that it wasn’t legal for her to drive it.

I’ve found that cops hate nothing more than being told what is and isn’t legal. Especially when the illegal thing is what they want to be doing.

At the lab, I position her against the drawers and tell her not to touch anything. She rolls her eyes, and I smirk.

I begin my examination of the bones, and I can feel her eyes on me. Whether she is staring at me with annoyance or curiosity, I can’t tell. I don’t want to look directly at her. In case it's the second, I wasn’t about to bust her. She can stare at me all she wans.

“So,” I finally speak. “Do you have a name other than Peck?”

She glares at me from across the room. “That’s Officer Peck to you.”

I glance her way. “Fine. Officer Peck, I’m Doctor Stewart.”

“I thought you said you were a pathologist or something?”

Jeez. Maybe she really isn’t the brightest bulb in the box. I gesture towards my lab coat. “They only let you wear these if you finish medical school first.”

“And the glasses complete the uniform?” she shoots back at me. “Just in case your status as a nerd wasn’t fully solidified?”

I raise one eyebrow. “What’ve you got against nerds, Officer Peck? Some kind of reverse bullying in middle school? Were you…” I drop my voice to a stage whisper, “not very smart?”

Her eyes manage to get even narrower. God she’s gorgeous. I shake my head. I’m enjoying the verbal sparring, and I can tell she is too. But I’ve got bones to focus on. Luckily, a metallic glint catches my eye almost immediately.

“Ah ha!”

She takes a step towards me. “What?”

I turn my head and glare. She retreats back to the wall. Once she’s there, I answer her question by holding up the humerus.

“A metal plate in his arm. It’s serialized. We can get an ID off of this.”

I roll over to the computer. I would have thought the prospect of identifying the body would have at least caused some excitement for her. I glance towards her, but her face is still stony. Though I think I see something like curiosity glint in her eyes for a moment before she suppresses it. I pull up the database and begin typing in the serial number when I hear her speak.

“How did you know that?”

I swivel to face her. “What?”

“It just looks like a bone. How did you know it was an arm?”

I smirk at her. “You did hear the part about medical school, right?”

For a brief moment, I see her stony façade break. “I’m serious.” She looks vulnerable, genuinely concerned that I think she’s an idiot. It’s only there for a second, but I see it. I quickly backtrack, making a mental note of her insecurity in this area. I stand and walk over to her, still holding the humerus.

“Here.” I hand her a pair of rubber gloves, which she quickly pulls on. I hand her the bone, stepping close to her and running my fingers down the body. She touches it tentatively, and I smile. “It’s not going to break.”

I take her hand and gently guide it towards the upper extremity. “See? This is where it connects to the scapula.”

She meets my gaze, confused. “Huh?”

I reach over and graze her shoulder lightly, demonstrating. “Here.”

She swallows hard, and I take a moment to appreciate the soft hollow at the base of her neck where I can see her pulse thudding rhythmically.

I move our hands to the lower extremity, pressing her fingers carefully into the dimple at the base. “This is where it connects to your radius and ulna.” Before she can ask, I gently place the tip of my finger on her elbow and press down. “Here.”

She nods and takes a step away, handing the bone back to me. “Got it. Thanks.”

I smile and walk back to the computer. It’s found the correct entry and I hit print. Hand her the piece of paper, which she skims. I don’t care about the identification. It’s easier for me to make my own assumptions without worrying about fitting into some preordained formula based on non-technical character data.

She looks up from the paper. “So what are you doing over there anyway?”

“Putting together a puzzle.”

Now that she has a few so-called facts in front of her, she wants to quiz me. “What can you tell about the person?”

I’ve already determined sex from the shape of the pubic bone. I quickly run my fingers along the inside of the jawbone at the base of the teeth, looking for age markers. “He’s a full-grown male. Probably early 20s. Not archeological. His bones are still greasy.” I smile. “And a bit smelly, you find?”

“Oh, I just thought that was you.”

My smile widens. There she is. “We’ll need to carbon date it, but I’d say he’s been dead… ten years?”

The detectives from the crime scene enter the room, looking for an ID. I tell them we got lucky, explain about the metal plate in the humerus. Officer Peck fills them in on the name. One of the detectives, the guy, is inexplicably thrilled to hear that he knows of the dead guy on my table. They head out, and it’s just the two of us again. Well, three, if you count Robert Robins. But I don’t.

I continue my exam, and Officer Peck starts getting antsy. As I scrape particles for analysis out of the various fractures on his body, she starts reading titles from medical journals at random. She stumbles upon one of mine and seems pretty impressed. She should be. I’m impressive. I gather further evidence to support this claim when I realize that he was hit by a car. Or, more likely, a large van or truck. I try to point it out to her.

She leans over the body, our arms touching briefly. “Yeah, no, I just see bones.”

I’m not too caught up in the excitement of new forensic evidence to notice how good she smells. She’s right. Compared to her, I’m greasy bones.

She calls the detective while I continue cataloguing the injuries. I notice a significant amount of bone remodeling. Shit. When he gets back to the morgue, I explain. Significant damage to his bones throughout his childhood. Poorly or partially healed, for the most part. The damage to the ribs and pelvis were just the final nail in his coffin. I promise to search for any evidence regarding make or model of the vehicle that hit him. But that will take longer. The detective leaves and I check my watch. It’s already past six. I don’t do overtime for a body ten years old. I start to pack up my things.

“So, I’m Holly.”

She swivels on her stool and looks at me. “I know.”

Now it’s my turn to look confused. “How?”

She points to the medical journals. “You wrote them, remember? ‘Dr. Holly Stewart, PhD.’ I’m not a total idiot.”

I am momentarily chagrined. “I know.”

She shrugs. “I’m Gail.” She watches me pack up my things before turning on the stool and gazing around the room. I sense her hesitation to leave.

“Something tells me you like it here.”

She sighs deeply. “I could live here.” She turns back towards me. “Holly.” A deep breath. “I’m like a cat. I’m very good at climbing trees. And then the minute that I get up there I don’t…I have no idea what to do. I want to get down, but I don’t know how to do that, so…I create an emergency situation to get out of it.”

It’s the most adorable speech I’ve ever heard. It’s also the most words she’s said to me all day in one go, and I can tell that it means something. I can tell she’s opening up. Unfortunately, I have zero idea what she’s talking about. “Out of the tree?”

“Of relationships.”

“Ah.” It all makes sense. I feel my heart sink slightly. Whatever her story is, it’s obviously complicated. And likely does not involve women in the slightest. But I can deal with that. It’s disappointing. But my fascination with her does not go away just because the odds of her being interested in women have decreased. And I do actually know what she’s talking about. I grab my bag and her jacket. “ Yeah, I used to be like that. But it turns out that I didn’t like men.” I hand her her jacket, feeling my heart thudding in my chest. No matter how many times I say it, it still always feels like the first time.

She stands up, pulling on the bulky coat. “Well, I don’t think I like men either.”

I smile. I’ll have to be more clear. “I mean I’m a lesbian.”

“Oh. I mean I hate people.” She walks away, leaving me standing there, a little dumbfounded. It was the most casual response I’ve ever received. And a perfect mix of honesty and sarcasm: my favorite combination. I can’t help the grin that spreads across my face as I turn to watch her leave the room. What an incredibly fascinating woman. I’m not necessarily any closer to figuring her out. But my heart is buoyed somewhat by her casual declaration, as casual as mine. She hates people. But for all of the rudeness and sarcasm and intellectual resistance I was met with today, I didn’t once feel an ounce of hatred.

The grin widens. She hates people. But she doesn’t seem to hate me.

I shrug. I can work with that.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gail's POV – Lead up to-/Frank and Noelle's wedding

Deep breath. What's the worst that can happen? She says no? I wouldn't blame her.

Ok. Screw it.

It's ringing.

" _Hello?"_

"Hey. Holly. It's me. Gail. The cop. From the crime scene. And then the morgue."

She laughs lightly. " _Yeah, Peck, I remember you."_ A pause. " _How did you get my number?"_

I roll my eyes. For someone so smart… "I'm a cop, Holly. It's not hard."

Another laugh. " _Right. What's up?"_

I sigh. "This is dumb. But my sergeant is getting married tonight. I hate big weddings. And I really need someone to come with me. I know it's last minute."

There's another pause. Why is she pausing so much? Can't she just answer the question? Wait. Did I even ask a question?

" _Are you asking me to be your plus one?"_

I cringe, glad she can't see my face. "Yeah. Will you come with me?"

I can somehow hear her smiling. " _Sure, why not? I don't have anything else going on tonight."_

I breathe a sigh of relief. Thank god. I won't have to suffer through this alone. "Great. It's at the Grand Hotel downtown. Meet me at the bar at 6?"

" _Is it black tie? What should I wear?"_

Hmm. Good question. "I'll be in a dress. You can wear…whatever lesbians wear to weddings."

She laughs again. She's got a nice laugh. She seems…amused by me. Or she's laughing at me? Is it bad that I can't tell?

" _Fleece and a leather jacket it is. See you then."_

Click.

She didn't even say goodbye. That's my move.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I stare at myself in the mirror. Smooth my hands down the front of my dress, feeling gold lamé underneath my fingers. Not bad, Peck. Too bad this outfit is going to waste. Well, maybe not entirely to waste. My lesbian date might enjoy it. But it's not like it's going to get me laid.

I hear that old lady's words echoing in my head again.

_Trust me, honey. Life's way too long to go at it alone._

Yeah well, fuck her. It's not like I'm trying to be alone. It's not my fault people keep screwing me over.

I sigh. You know what? It probably is my fault. It's not like I'm the jolliest person around. In fact, I'm kind of a bitch. Maybe I should work on that.

I brighten slightly, watching the corners of my mouth lift. Holly doesn't seem to mind too much. I'm making an effort. New friends. It will be good for me. Branching out. Since the rest of the station is basically coupling off, I should probably try to find a new social circle anyway. And Holly…she's weird. I like her.

I grab my coat and head out the door.

At the hotel, I steel myself for the frivolity that awaits me inside. I head towards the ballroom, scanning for my date. As I pass the coatroom, I glance over. Holly's sitting there, calming reading a book. What the hell? She looks up, sees me, and smiles.

"May I take your coat?"

I lift my arms in confusion as I walk towards her. "I thought we were meeting at the bar?"

She shrugged. "Coat check girl hasn't shown up. Figured I'd wait for you here, hang a few coats."

"Well, how very weird of you." She doesn't know yet that weird is a compliment in my book. But she doesn't seem offended. Honestly, I'm impressed with her ingenuity. If I'd gotten here first, I'd have done the same thing. It occurs to me that she doesn't really know anyone in that room. She'd rather hang out in the coatroom alone and wait for me than mingle with people she doesn't know. I smile slightly. She really is my kind of girl.

"I've made twenty bucks," she replies as I hand her my coat. She smiles. "Make that twenty two." She turns to hang my coat on the rack. "In the jar please." I toss a few coins in the glass jar on the desk.

She turns back around and holds out her hands. "Tip?" she asks, raising an eyebrow.

I glance in my wallet. "I only have a five." She just smirks at me, wiggling her eyebrow, and I realize she expects me to give it to her. I narrow my eyes slightly, but I'm even more impressed. "Wow." I hand her the bill and she pockets it. I lean closer to her. "You know what? I hate these things. Everyone's milling around, I mean, they're laughing. And they're caring." I pray that she's not going to feed me some bullshit about love and happiness.

"I know, it's awful. I usually dodge this stuff but you needed a last minute plus one and I am all about growing these days. So…Macarena?" She dances off towards the bar, and I roll my eyes with a tiny smile. What a misanthropic dork.

I'm a fan.

"Let's just get this over with." I follow her into the ballroom.

She's already ordering a drink when I catch up with her. I glance at the bartender. "Open bar?" He nods. "I'll have whatever she's having." He nods again, pouring us both drinks. She turns to me.

"Cheers," she says with a smile, raising her glass towards me. I clink mine against hers and then take a sip. I make a face.

"Gin?"

She smiles again. "Gin and tonic, yeah."

I take another sip and shudder. "Ugh."

Her smile widens. "Not a big fan?"

"I'm more of a tequila girl," I reply, quickly downing the rest of the liquid.

Now it's her turn to make a face. "Oh, that's terrible." She takes a large gulp of her drink and leans against the bar, facing me. "Can we compromise?"

I narrow my eyes. "Maybe. What did you have in mind?"

She upends her glass into her mouth, finishing it quickly. She turns back to the bartender. "Can we get two whiskeys? Neat?"

I stare at her appraisingly. "I can get on board with that." She glances at me and smiles, her eyes gleaming at the approval beaming from mine.

It's like we made a silent pact. I'm pretty sure that from that moment on, we'll only drink whiskey.

We make our way over to a table with our tumblers of whiskey. I sip mine, pleased. She has good taste. Well, except for the gin. I sit down and she sits next to me. Crosses her legs, sips her whiskey delicately, and says, "So. How was your day?"

I stare at her. Oh. Right. For the first time in as long as I can remember, I'm talking to someone I don't work with. When she asks how my day was, it's because she genuinely doesn't know. And based on her curious and faintly amused expression, she genuinely wants to.

I'm not Officer Peck with her. I'm just Gail.

I give a half shrug. "I had to interview a bunch of weird old people who got robbed."

She gives me a delighted smile. "Ok. Good start. Tell me more."

"They were on some kind of outing when the driver pulls over, puts a pair of pantyhose over his head, and forces them to give him all their jewels and valuables. Then, apparently, he leaves the bus, locks them in, and takes off. Someone reported the bus being abandoned on the highway. We had to bring them all in and take their statements."

She's shaking her head in a kind of wonder. "Wow. Did you catch the guy?"

I smile a little. "Pretty sure McNally and Collins are still working on that. I just had to do the interviews."

"Who did you interview?"

"Walter and Constance. They called themselves frienemies."

She laughs, a deep throaty laugh that shakes her whole body. I cock my head. Huh. I'm still not positive. But I'm pretty sure she's laughing at my jokes. Not at me.

"Frienemies? How old were they?"

I wrinkle my nose. "Like 80? Too old to be using words like frenemy."

She's still chuckling. "Yeah, I'd say so."

"They kept…" I sigh and lean back in my seat. "They seemed pretty concerned that I was going to die alone."

She sobers, though I can still see a smile playing at the corner of her lips. "Is this something you're concerned about?"

I exhale deeply, narrowing my eyes at her. The question was playful, but it seems like she actually wants to know. It seems like she is…actually a little worried about me? No way. She doesn't even know me. And if she did, she'd know that this wasn't a conversation I'd have. But if that was the case, then why did I even bring it up? I didn't have to say anything. I could have just told her how weird they smelled.

God. There's something about this girl. Since when do I spontaneously offer information about my psyche? This is the second time I've spent time with her and the second time I've given her way too much information. And yet she doesn't seem to mind. Still. I realize I should probably answer her question. Should I answer it honestly?

I sigh again. "Kind of? I mean, in case you haven't noticed, I'm not the friendliest of creatures. I'm more porcupine than bunny."

She smiles. This time it looks…I don't know. I can't read her. I can't read her at all. And I'm a cop. A good one. I know how to read people.

"Porcupines are actually very friendly. And pretty cuddly too." She leans forward and lowers her voice as if about to share a secret. "You just have to know how to handle them." She holds my gaze for a moment before standing abruptly. "Need another drink?"

I nod, and she heads towards the bar. I watch her go. It's pretty hard to knock me off balance. I'm as even-keeled as they come. No doubt about it. I may have finally met my match.

She sits back down. "So. Tell me about the other officers."

I tilt my head towards her. "What do you want to know? Do you want to meet them?"

"No," she replied, "I didn't say that. I don't need to socialize. But I do want the gossip."

I squint at her. "Gossip?"

"Oh come on," she says, laughing. "There's gotta be some good dirt floating around that precinct. I'll tell you all about the weird love triangle that my lab assistants are involved in."

I smile at her. "I'm not sure you can handle this dirt."

"I think you'd be surprised at what I can handle," she shoots back, batting her eyelashes at me.

I shake my head. "Alright, you asked for it." I scan the room. Epstein and Price are hovering at the edge of the dance floor. Could they be any more obvious? I point them out. "That's my roommate, Dov. Pretty sure he's sleeping with that quivering puppy next to him."

"Ok, so far I'm not scandalized."

I smile. "They're not telling anyone because Price is Frank's" I point him out "goddaughter. And Frank is our staff sergeant."

She considers this. "Ok, a little better."

I move onto Nash. "Ok, that's Nash. She's got a son. She was engaged to one of our detectives but he…died." My voice fades off, and I struggle to control my face. I forgot that if I talked about Jerry, she could ask…

"How'd he die?"

I look down at the table. Shit. I'm trying to keep my expression neutral, but apparently she can read me better than I can read her.

"You ok? Sorry, is it…?"

I swallow and nod. "Yeah, sorry, I just…" I shake my head. "It's my fault he died."

She narrows her eyes, leans forward, places her hand on top of mine. "I don't know anything, but I'm almost positive that isn't true."

I give her a tight smile and pull my hand away. Turn my face away from hers. I can tell she wants me to open up. But that's not gonna happen.

No matter how much I might also want to.

I realize I have to change the subject. Good thing Collins and Diaz aren't here. I realize that a significant amount of the drama in the precinct centers around me. Yeah. Definitely time for a new topic.

"Ok, so tell me about this love triangle."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The ceremony is predictably beautiful. I glance over at Holly a few times. Despite her earlier protestations, I can tell that she actually likes weddings. Ok but honestly, who doesn't? Even my cold, cold heart feels it when Frank and Noelle exchange their vows. Like I told Price. This is what weddings should be about. Not the dress or the party. Just the love.

I'll keep that to myself, however. And if I see a single tear in Holly's eye, she's getting mercilessly teased for it. I glance over again.

Eyes still dry.

They're pronounced husband and wife and the crowd cheers as they kiss. Holly smiles at me.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?"

Crap. I think she can read my mind.

I roll my eyes. "Reception's just starting. That's the worst part."

She grabs my arm, drags me towards the ballroom. "Come on, grumpy. Let's get you some champagne."

Somehow, one glass of champagne becomes two, then three. We're getting more giggly, and I don't giggle easily. She makes faces at me as Frank and Noelle shove cake into each other's mouths. She smiles serenely as Price talks a mile a minute at her, something about politics in Brazil. As soon as Chloe walks away, she rolls her eyes at me, and I fall a little in love. I'm too impressed by her to notice that she's managed to drag me onto the dance floor and she's...oh my god, she's actually doing the Macarena. Right now. The song isn't even playing.

Officer Peck would be mortified. Gail...kind of likes it.

I grin, synchronizing my movements with hers, and we dance the Macarena like no one is watching.

We dance through a few songs. Macarena, Robot, a little bit of the jitterbug. We finish with some kind of spastic flailing that Holly seems to have perfected. We collapse into each other, laughing, gasping for air. Her hand on my shoulder as she bends over, grabbing her stomach. I spot a few unopened bottles of champagne sitting unattended and I grab two of them, pulling her after me.

"Come on."

We slide down the wall of the coat room and catch our breaths. I'm drunk, very drunk. I'm aware of this, but it doesn't stop me from popping open both bottles and handing her one. We sit quietly for a few minutes, breathing, sipping directly from the bottles. I'm thinking about lesbians. I've never really been friends with one before, not really. I'm very curious.

"So...are you, like, butch?" I finally burst out, then I cringe. Smooth.

Luckily, she laughs. "Wow. Smooth." She leans back against the wall, actually considering the question. "No. I don't think so. I don't really consider myself butch." She smirked, glancing at me out of the corner of her eyes. "Though I am a pretty impressive softball player."

I roll my eyes. "Mhm. Ok. And what about...like...who pays when you go on a date?"

She smiles. "We split it. Or we alternate who pays. Or," she continues, smirking at me, "if you're me, you only date rich girls. And they always pay."

"Really?" I ask incredulously.

"Of course not, you weirdo," she says, laughing. I join in, and when the laughter stops, we both let out a contented sigh. I continue.

"So is it still fun...getting dressed?"

She cocks her eyebrow at me curiously. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I mean, that's the most fun part of a date, is getting dressed. How does it work if two girls are getting dressed together?"

"I don't know, how does it work with a guy?" She's just humoring me, I can tell. But I answer seriously.

"Well, I mean, if you live together, he gets dressed first and then you..." I'm about halfway through the sentence when I realize her point. Wow, I must be really drunk. "get dressed...it's very stupid. Stupid question." I'm blushing, embarrassed. She smiles and nods, no judgement on her face. I should probably shut up. But it's like the words just keep coming out.

"What about if you wanna borrow a dress or shoes or clothes? I mean, is that cool? Do you share each other's things?" This, I feel, is a legitimate question. To me, it seems like that would be half the reason to date another girl.

She rakes her eyes up and down my frame and quickly responds. "I wouldn't share your things."

I'm incredibly offended. I look fantastic! "What is wrong with my things?"

She's laughing. "Nothing! They're just not my style."

"Oh, not enough fleece for you, Holly? Not enough backpacks?" I'm getting punchy, the alcohol finally kicking in. I'm teasing her, mostly, but she doesn't seem to care either way. She's just smiling at me, her head turned. And her face seems to be getting closer and before I can do anything about it, her lips are pressed to mine.

My brain turns off. My lips respond automatically, but she's gone almost immediately.

The removal of her mouth does nothing to jump start my brain.

"You are insane. You know that, right?" She's still smiling at me. I can't speak. She stands up, gesturing towards the bottle in her hand. "I'm gonna take this with me, if you don't mind. Plenty more out there."

She's gathering her things, pulling her jacket out from the rack. I finally remember words. Just a few. "Sorry, where are you going?" I manage to get out.

"Dancing." She shrugs. "I kinda need to get it out of my system. Thanks. That was fun." She lifts the bottle slightly. "Plus one forever."

I raise my glass in acknowledgement. She turns and walks out, leaving me sitting, alone, in the coatroom at a wedding. I'm stunned. Did she just kiss me and then immediately leave?

That's my move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, it is really hard to write in Gail's voice. This one was hard to write, but I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. Let me know what you think! Comments always appreciated. Thanks for reading =]


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short one, this is a little bonus. Holly's POV, the kiss and immediately afterwards.

"What about if you wanna borrow a dress or shoes or clothes? I mean, is that cool? Do you share each other's things?"

I drop my eyes, taking in the effect of shimmery gold fabric hugging her body. I feel my heart skip a beat while I acknowledge that, yes, she looks incredible. But there's no way I could pull that off. I force my eyes back to her face and plaster a smirk on my face as I respond, "I wouldn't share your things."

The look of indignation that crosses her face is adorable; she's so offended. "What is wrong with my things?"

I laugh. "Nothing!" I assure her, "They're just not my style."

"Oh, not enough fleece for you, Holly? Not enough backpacks?"

I can't keep the smile off my face. She's teasing me, I know. But her voice is so serious, so genuinely offended. I could probably have made fun of anything about her and gotten the same reaction. But somehow, the fact that she's so pouty over my refusal to share clothes with her in this hypothetical situation in which we're dating is just too much for me to handle. I'm in cuteness overload, my brain too full of puppy love for this girl to sound the alarm when I realize I'm leaning closer. Before I can stop myself, I kiss her, lightly, feeling her lips respond against mine. Lips that I've caught myself staring at more than once this evening. Lips that, I'll admit only to myself, I've thought about kissing since that first moment at the crime scene.

I pull back. Plaster a smile on my face that reflects confidence that I definitely do not feel. "You are insane. You know that, right?"

As if she's the one who just kissed the straight girl.

I've got to get out of here. She's staring at me, she's confused, she's freaked out, she's...so fucking beautiful.

I stand up quickly, gesturing towards the bottle in my hand. "I'm gonna take this with me, if you don't mind. Plenty more out there." I start to gather my things, avoiding looking at her again. I'm worried if she sees my face, she'll see it all. She'll see that that kiss was the highlight of my year. She'll see that all I want is to do it again. She speaks from behind me, and I force myself to turn.

"Sorry, where are you going?"

Her face still looks stunned. For the first time all evening, I can't figure out what she's thinking. I can't tell if she's pissed or freaked out or just overwhelmingly bewildered by what just happened. Her face just reads...surprised. I shrug and force another smile.

"Dancing. I kinda need to get it out of my system." Keep it casual, Holly. Maybe we can just pretend this never happened. I continue. "Thanks. That was fun." I lift the bottle slightly, and tease her gently, hoping it's not too soon. "Plus one forever."

She acknowledges my attempt at levity by tilting her bottle in my direction, but I'm out the door before she can speak again. I hope that sounded appropriately casual. I hope that she understands that by removing myself from that moment as quickly as possible, I never want to talk about it. I walk outside, hail a cab, and collapse into the backseat.

I run my fingers lightly over my lips, feeling the ghost of hers still tingling on them. I feel my face flush as I realize that as spontaneous as that kiss felt, my subconscious must have been planning this all along. I shake my head.

_Dammit Holly. She's straight. She just broke up with her boyfriend. She's admittedly fragile and bad at relationships. Why the hell would you fuck up the beginnings of a very promising friendship?_

Because I couldn't help it. Because I'm falling for Gail Peck. And because I needed to kiss her.

Given the chance, I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat.

The cab pulls up to my apartment and I force myself up the stairs and into my bedroom. Flopping down onto my bed, I sigh deeply. I guess it doesn't matter anymore. She probably doesn't want to hang out with me again, not after that.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I assume I'm right. I don't hear from her for a few days, and I'm sure as hell not going to call her. But then, one night as I'm packing my bag to leave work, my phone rings. I pick it up, look at the caller ID.

Officer Peck.

Be cool, Holly.

"Hello?"

" _Hey, it's me."_

God I forgot how gorgeous her voice is. And she doesn't identify herself. This points to a level of familiarity that I had been afraid was lost. But her voice is low, a little intense. She's obviously got a reason for calling. Before I have a chance to respond, she continues.

" _What are you doing tonight?"_

I swallow. Answer honestly.

"I was going to hit the batting cages. Why?"

There's a pause on the other end. As if she's steeling herself for something. I hear her let out a breath. " _Can I come?"_

I allow a tiny smile to creep across my face. "Sure. Do you know where it is? I can meet you there? Around 7:30?"

" _Yeah. That sounds good."_ Another pause. " _I don't actually do sports."_

I laugh lightly. "There's a first time for everything, Peck."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This now segues directly into chapter 1, haha. And we're all caught up. Chronological order will resume, probably. Mostly. Thanks for reading =] I hope you guys like it, let me know!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can never tell how time moves in the RB world and Holly doesn’t appear in ep. 4x11 at all. But I imagine they were talking during that time period. So, this chap is going to be filling in that gap with some texts, some phone calls, and some moments that (I assume) occurred off-screen between 4x10 and 4x12. It starts pretty much right after chapter 3, haha. Continuity is for squares. And Andy, Dov, and Diaz all make an appearance.

“No, it’s fine, I should go home anyway. Dov keeps texting me asking if I’m alive.”

“Look, if you stay here, I can come home at lunch and check on you. You’re just going to sleep anyway, you might as well do it here.”

They were sitting in Holly’s bedroom. For all of her protestations, Gail had yet to show any signs of moving from the bed. Holly was perched next to her.

Gail wasn’t going to mention this to Holly, but she had slept better in Holly’s bed than she had in years. Of course, that could have been the drugs. The drugs that were currently still coursing through her bloodstream and weakening her resolve. Yes. It was definitely the drugs. Not those big brown eyes pleading with her to stay.

“Ok. Fine. I’m about to fall back to sleep anyway.”

“Good.” Holly stood up and walked out the bedroom door.

“Hey!” Gail called after her. “Are you leaving?”

She heard footsteps thumping lightly down the stairs and, soon afterwards, coming back up. Holly appeared in the doorway holding a tray of food.

“Here,” she said, placing it over Gail’s legs in the bed. “You have to eat something.”

Gail looked down at the tray. There were eggs, bacon, toast, fresh fruit, and juice. She searched for a snarky comment, but she was too touched. “No coffee?” she finally managed.

Holly just laughed. “It will interact with your meds. No caffeine while you’re on oxy.”

Gail shrugged. “I’m not really hungry.”

Holly smiled at her, cocking an eyebrow. “You need to eat anyway. You shouldn’t have those meds in an empty stomach.”

“Jeez, Doc,” Gail replied. “I had no idea there were so many rules that came with my drugs.”

She laughed again. “Well the doctors at the hospital went over everything with you last night. Obviously you were a little out of it.” She shrugged. “Good thing I was there.”

“Yeah, good thing,” Gail replied faintly.

Holly looked at her with concern. “You ok? Seriously, eat something, ok?”

Gail half-heartedly shoveled some eggs into her mouth. She swallowed and looked at Holly, eyes wide. “Holy crap these are good.”

Holly beamed. “Thanks.”

Gail continued to eat, gesturing towards the plate with her fork. “You cook like this a lot?”

“When I have time.” She stood up. “I do have to get into work. Try to eat as much as you can before you fall asleep, ok? Call me right away if you feel weird. Weirder than usual, I mean.”

Gail rolled her eyes and smirked. “Yeah, yeah.”

“I’ll be back in a few hours to check on you, ok?”

“You don’t have to - “

“I know,” Holly interrupted, smiling at her. “I’ll be back.”

After she left, Gail tried really hard to eat as much as she could. But she really wasn’t hungry. She finished the eggs and bacon though, and felt pretty proud. She lay back against the pillows and flung her arms out to her sides. She closed her eyes and before she knew it, she was asleep.

When Holly came home at lunch, she walked into her bedroom, stopped dead, and began to laugh. Gail was laying flat on her back in the exact center of her queen-size bed. She had thrown all the covers to the ground and she had a pillow over her head. Holly had no idea how she had slept like that, but her breath was even and she wasn’t moving. She was obviously dead asleep. She tiptoed around to the side of the bed, picking up one of the tangled blankets and shaking it out before laying it gently over the blonde and exiting the room quietly. She poked her head back in before she headed back to the morgue. Gail hadn’t moved. She turned to go, but Gail’s muffled voice stopped her.

“Holly?”

“Yeah?” she asked, turning back.

“I need...I need...”

She took a step closer. “What? What do you need?”

The words were faint, but clear. “Toothbrush.”

Holly laughed heartily. “I’ll see what I can do. I’ll be back in a few hours.”

The pillow shifted, and Holly assumed that was a nod. She headed back to the morgue, confident that Gail was doing just fine. 

She came home again bearing containers of Chinese food and a new toothbrush. She stuck the toothbrush in her bathroom and, with no further discussion, Gail used it and left it there, occupying another slot in her toothbrush holder.

Luckily, Gail’s appetite had recovered somewhat. They sat on the floor of the living room shoveling pork and noodles into their mouths with chopsticks. Holly was very good with chopsticks and Gail was very bad. They laughed hysterically as Gail attempted to feed herself, refusing to give in and use the fork that Holly offered her. She dropped most of her meal on the floor and kept apologizing. Holly kept assuring her that it wasn’t a big deal. They curled up on the couch, sharing a blanket as they watched a terrible chick flick. They took turns putting the movie on mute and changing the dialogue, mocking the predictable plot. When Gail started yawning, Holly shepherded her upstairs and into bed with only half-hearted protests from the blonde.

The next morning, Gail was feeling well enough that she decided to accompany Holly to work.

“You sure I won’t bother you?”

“Oh, you’ll definitely bother me. But I’ll still get work done, don’t worry.” Holly shot her a smirk. “You know,” she suggested lightly. “It could be argued that if you’re well enough to come to work with me, you’re well enough to go to your own job.”

Gail turned big, blue puppy-dog eyes onto her and let out a light cough. “I’m very sick. It’s only safe for me to be around dead people.”

Holly rolled her eyes, laughing. “You know, you were never actually sick to begin with.”

Gail shrugged. “Whatever. They gave me two days off; no way I’m going to cut this little vacation short. Besides,” she continued, “we’re starting a big operation tomorrow. I’ll be back for that.”

“Oooh,” Holly cocked an eyebrow. “What kind of big operation?”

Gail put on her serious face. “Cleaning up the streets.”

Holly smirked at her. “Isn’t that supposed to be what you do every day?”

Gail shoved her lightly as they walked into the morgue. Holly laughed and immediately walked over to the drawers, taking note of a new body that had been dropped off that night. She read the tag and her face fell. Gail noticed and walked over to her.

“What is it?”

Holly shook her head. “It’s...a little girl. Seven years old, she was brought in last night.”

Gail furrowed her brow. “That’s awful. How did she...does it say?”

Holly looked over at her, her face sad. “Gunshot wound. We will know more after the autopsy.”

Gail shook her head. “That’s so sad.”

Holly nodded, her face tight. “Gail...you might not want to be here for this.”

Gail touched her shoulder lightly, running her hand down her arm and squeezing Holly’s hand tightly. There was no sarcasm in her voice when she spoke. “I’m here for _you_.”

Holly nodded again and gave her a tight-lipped smile.

“What can I do?”

She shook her head. “I have to examine the body. Do you want to wait outside?”

“No,” Gail replied softly. “I’ll be ok.”

Holly nodded and unlatched the door, pulling the drawer open. Her expression remained carefully neutral as she gazed down at the tiny figure covered in a white sheet. She grabbed the edges of the tray, efficiently transferring it to her exam table. Gail watched her closely as she lifted the sheet, revealing a pale body with long brown hair. It looked like her hair had been braided, but it was difficult to tell. She had been killed by a gunshot wound to the head. Holly’s expression did not waver, but Gail detected a quiver at the corner of her mouth. She went and stood next to the brunette, gently turning her head until they were facing each other.

“Are _you_ going to be ok?”

Holly nodded, avoiding eye contact. “It’s my job, Gail. It’s the hard part of my job. But I get through it.”

“No,” Gail said, giving her a ‘cut the bullshit’ look. “Don’t give me that. Look at me. Are you going to be ok?”

Holly finally raised her eyes, meeting Gail’s piercing gaze. Gail saw tears welling beneath her eyelids. “Yes. But it’s going to hurt.”

Gail nodded. “Yeah. It will.” She pulled Holly in and hugged her tightly. “That’s why I’ll be right here the whole time.”

This was new to Gail. Hugging. Showing emotion. Being there for a friend like this. But Holly had been there for her repeatedly. There was no way that Gail was going to leave her right now. She waited patiently in the corner while Holly examined every inch of the body. A few times, Holly’s body shook with the exertion of holding in a sob, and each time, Gail pulled her away for a moment and into her arms. At the end, Holly carefully replaced the sheet and turned to Gail, clearing her throat.

“I’m sorry. Kids are the hardest.”

Gail nodded. “You don’t have to apologize.”

“Normally I’d be alone down here. I wouldn’t have to worry about someone seeing me crying." 

Gail cocked her head and narrowed her eyes. “Holly...you don’t have to be strong all the time. Not in front of me.”

Holly gave her a slightly watery smile. “Well, obviously, I’m not.”

Gail shrugged. “It’s ok.” She glanced around. “Can we get out of here?”

Holly looked at her curiously. “Gail, it’s only 11am.”

She shrugged again. “So? Call in sick.”

Holly gave her a small smile. She considered for a moment before nodding. “Ok. Let’s go.”

They spent the rest of the day at the park. They walked around for an hour or two, just talking. They bought sandwiches from the deli and had a picnic. Gail lay in the grass, her head in Holly’s lap, and Holly played with her hair. She braided it and unbraided it, over and over again. Gail almost fell asleep, the sun shining and warm on her face. Around dinnertime, a group of college-aged boys asked them if they would mind moving so they could play frisbee. Holly agreed, but only if they could play too. Gail politely declined, so Holly played alone, leaving Gail on the sidelines, watching in awe. Holly was good. Like, scary good. Soon all of the guys on her team had deferred to her abilities, and the other team was desperate to stop her. Gail cheered and clapped, a consummate cheerleader. Holly’s team easily won the match and Holly flopped down next to Gail, smiling and exhausted.

Gail congratulated her before narrowing her eyes. “You tell anyone I played cheerleader for you and you might find yourself missing a few digits.”

Holly smirked. “My lips are sealed.”

She stood up and offered her hand to Gail, pulling her upwards. “Now. You should probably get home, let your roommates get eyes on you. You have to go back to work tomorrow.”

“Ugh,” Gail groaned. “Don’t remind me.” She shot Holly a dazzling smile. “Any chance I can get a note from a doctor?”

Holly shook her head, laughing. “Sorry slugger. Nothing I can do.”

Gail sighed. “Fine. I probably won’t see you for a few days. Big operation.”

“Ah, yes. Of course. Getting criminals off the streets.”

“You know. As we do.”

Holly smiled and pulled Gail in for a hug. She froze, uncomfortable for a moment. But they’d hugged so many times already. She let herself relax. She’d never admit it. But maybe hugs weren’t so bad.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“McNally, I swear to god, if you try to apologize one more time, I will cut you.”

“Gail, I just...”

“I know. Whatever. Can we please just...do our jobs?”

“Fine.” Andy sat back in her seat and crossed her arms. It was the first day of Operation Driftnet and she and Gail had been paired together. Which meant at least 12 hours of sitting in a car with someone who hated her.

Gail, meanwhile, was pissed. Today was her first day back, and _of course_ she had to spend it with McNally. After essentially two full days with Holly, this was a fairly unpleasant change. They sat in silence, which, while a little awkward, was at least better than McNally apologizing every five seconds. She pulled out her phone.

_Gail: Please remind me again why I had to come back to work?_

_Holly: Your burn is healing well. You aren’t on heavy drugs anymore. You love your job?_

_Gail: Do you have any bodies that I can look at? Can I come work for you at the morgue?_

_Holly: While there are many benefits to my job, I have to admit that I miss not smelling like formaldehyde on a daily basis._

_Gail: Better than smelling like McNally_

_Holly: I don’t know, when I met her, she smelled quite nice._

_Gail: WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON??_

_Holly: Yours. Probably. Usually._

_Gail: Gee, thanks_

_Holly: I can feel the eye roll from all the way over here :)_

They made an easy arrest; the guy didn’t even try to resist. He saw the badges and immediately held out his hands. Gail couldn’t even take much pleasure in snapping on the handcuffs; what was the point if the perp wanted to be arrested? It was time for lunch. She glanced over at McNally, almost ready to ask her what she wanted to do. But she wasn’t quite ready to extend a peace offering. She pulled out her phone again.

_Gail: Lunch plans?_

_Holly: I was just going to grab a sandwich. Can you meet me?_

_Gail: Come to the park. I can take a break to eat._

_Holly: I’ll bring you something._

_Gail: Thanks :)_

They ate lunch in the park. Gail hadn’t invited McNally to join them. She sat facing the car so that she could see if Andy needed her to come back. But so far, she’d just sat in the car, shooting puppy dog eyes at her. Gail rolled her eyes and ignored it.

“So,” Holly started. “Why did you become a cop?”

Gail shrugged. “I don’t know. It was always just...my plan. Between my parents and Steve...I’m not sure I ever really had a chance at becoming anything else. But I like what I do. Protect and serve, all that.” She looked at Holly. “I like feeling like I’m helping someone.”

Holly nodded. “Is it scary?” she asked hesitantly. She knew this was a dangerous question to ask Gail Peck.

But Gail swallowed and answered honestly. “Sometimes.”

“Like when?”

Gail looked down at the picnic table. “Jerry,” she whispered hoarsely.

Holly reached across the table and took her hand. “Tell me.”

Gail shook her head. “I can’t.”

Holly gave her a look. “C’mon Gail. This is us. We...tell each other stuff.”

She sighed. She didn’t talk about this with anyone. Precinct-mandated therapy had been bad enough. But she looked up, into Holly’s eyes, and felt...safe. Safe enough to talk about it.

“I was working a case. Undercover. We had several missing women. High-end escorts. We traced it back to this one guy.” She glanced over at Holly. “His type was blondes with blue eyes. So we set up a date. But it...it wasn’t him. He always went to the same restaurant. There was a cab driver.”

“Ah,” Holly said softly, connecting some dots.

“He locked me in his basement. He...” she swallowed hard and looked away. This time it was Holly’s turn to take her hand. She glanced at the brunette and continued. “Jerry came back to interview him. They didn’t suspect the cab driver until it was too late. He...he killed Jerry. He would have killed me too, but they got there in time to save me. But not Jerry.” She looked down at the table, blinking back tears.

“Gail,” Holly said gently. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

“It wasn’t even...” she choked back a sob. “It wasn’t even because I was a cop. He didn’t know, not at first. I was just a girl, just someone that he was going to rape and...and kill.” The tears were flowing freely now, and Holly moved to her side of the table, wrapping her arms around the blonde. Gail caught her breath, inhaling deeply, and looked at her. “I’ve never felt so powerless. I was sure I was going to die. And Jerry...” her eyes filled with a fresh wave of tears. “They were going to get married.”

She couldn’t say anything else. Holly pulled her in close, rubbing her back gently until she heard her breath even out again. Gail pulled away, wiped her eyes, and glanced back at the car. She took a deep breath.

“I should get back,” she said quietly.

Holly nodded.

“Thank you,” Gail continued, giving her a small smile.

Holly nodded again. “Any time, ok?”

Gail walked back to the car and sat. Andy looked at her with a worried expression on her face.

“Are you ok?”

Gail rolled her eyes. “I’m fine, McNally.” She turned her head and glared at her. “Spying on me?”

“I just...” Andy sighed. “Never mind.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gail’s phone rang, loudly, puncturing the stillness of her bedroom. And she was pissed about it. She woke with a start, ready to throw the phone across the room, but when she glanced at the screen through half-open eyes, Holly’s name was staring back at her. She groaned and answered.

“What do you want?”

Holly’s laugh brightly tinkled on the other end. _“Well good morning to you too.”_

“Not even two hours, Holly. How can I possibly be expected to function on that? How dare you wake me.”

She laughed again. _“Gail. Sweetie. You made me promise to wake you up. You said you’d be particularly nasty to me, and you made me promise I’d do it anyway. So. Are you up?”_

Gail rolled over, curling her legs into her chest and pulling a pillow over her head. Her voice was muffled when she answered. “Not even close. Leave me alone.”

_“Sorry. No can do. You gave me explicit instructions here.”_

“How explicit are we talking?”

_“Get your mind out of the gutter, Peck. Come on. Up and at ‘em. Don’t make me come over there.”_

“Do it. You can make me those eggs again.”

_“Well you know I’d love to. But I’m already at the morgue. It was a busy night for death, apparently.”_

“God, that’s depressing. You’re the worst at this.”

_“Hey, you’re still conscious. I can’t be doing too badly.”_

“Ok. Fine. Tell me a story.”

_“I thought stories were for falling asleep.”_

“Yeah, the way you tell them.” It was never too early for snark, Gail reflected before continuing. “But right now I need a wake-up story.”

Holly laughed, amused. Even on two hours of sleep, she was still perfectly snarky. _“Alright, let’s see. Do you want to hear about the bodies I have to examine today?”_

“Ugh. Definitely not. You’re trying to wake me up, not bore me to tears."

_“Tears would lubricate your eyes, making them open wider. You’d probably feel more awake afterwards.”_

“Holly, can we please focus?”

“ _I’m just saying.”_

Gail gave a little hum of annoyance. She rolled over so that she was on her back and stared up at the ceiling. “Do you remember the cat? Up in the tree?”

“ _Why yes, I do. Why?”_

“I was just thinking.”

“ _What were you thinking?”_

Gail was silent for a minute.

_“Still awake?”_

“Yeah.”

_“Ok.”_ Holly waited patiently. She had discovered early on that Gail took a little patience. It seemed to her like most people just didn’t bother. But she’d found that if she just let Gail go at her own pace, things worked very well. Luckily, she was a very patient person. She shuffled through a couple papers. Gail heard the noise.

“Hey! Are you doing work?”

Holly laughed. “ _I told you I was at the morgue. What did you think I was doing?”_

“Devoting every bit of your attention to this very important phone conversation?”

_“You have 99% of my attention, my dear,”_ Holly replied sweetly. “ _But the other 1% does need to go through these files before the coroner gets here.”_

“I see how it is.”

_“Hey. Peck. Cat?”_

“Yeah, yeah,” Gail replied. “I was just thinking.” There was another long pause and Holly almost spoke again. But before she had a chance, Gail continued. “I used to think there was just one option. That the cat climbs the tree, gets stuck, and needs to be rescued.”

“ _Mhm,”_ Holly replied, waiting to see where she was going with this.

“But there’s another option, isn’t there? I mean, why doesn’t someone just follow the cat up the tree? Another cat? Why have all the other cats just let her go up there by herself? Why didn’t anyone ever go with her?”

Holly smiled. _“All excellent questions.”_

“So I was just thinking. I don’t really feel alone up there anymore.”  

“ _No emergency crew needed?”_

“No.”

“ _Good.”_

They were both quiet for a moment. Holly wished they were having this conversation in person. She was getting good at reading Gail, but even her skills faltered when faced with trying to interpret silence over the telephone. She suspected that, unfortunately, they were having different conversations. She wasn’t unaware that her feelings for Officer Peck had crossed over into more-than-friendly territory. She’d happily be stuck up a tree with Gail. But, more than likely, the reticent cop was just feeling, possibly for the first time, a friendship based on emotional honesty.

“Ok,” Gail said, interrupting her train of thought. “I’m out of bed.”

_“Really? You aren’t just going to go back to sleep when I hang up?”_

“No. I promise. Here, listen.” She stood up and stomped across the room, her footsteps echoing in the quiet apartment. Holly laughed, and Gail started jumping up and down, really trying to get the point across.

“ _Ok, ok! I believe you! Don’t take the whole building down.”_

Gail allowed herself a tiny smile. “I’ll text you if I get bored.”

_“Only if you’re really bored.”_

“Obviously. You’re not my first choice for entertainment, you know.”

_“Of course not.”_

Gail could feel Holly smiling even through the phone. She pictured the forensic pathologist standing the morgue in her lab coat, surrounded by dead people and dusty books. She was glad that she could make her smile.

“Ok, bye.”

Another laugh. _“Bye Gail.”_

They both hung up. Gail threw on her road and shuffled out into the kitchen, where Dov was already sitting at the table with a cup of coffee in front of him and his head on the table. Diaz was in the living room folding blankets. Gail poured herself a cup of coffee and sat next to Dov, yawning. Diaz looked at the pair of them and laughed lightly.

“Is it really that hard? The operation you guys are on?”

Dov picked his head up off the table. “Long. Just long.”

Gail chimed it. “It was three all-nighters in a row.” She looked over at Dov with something like awe on her face. “Hey, are my eyes as slitty as yours?”

He considered her for a moment before responding, “Slittier.”

Chris piped up from the living room. “Well, I’d take your place if I could. Frank’s got me on desk detail. Not that I’m complaining, I’m just glad to be back.”

“Well, you seem to be adjusting quite well,” Gail noted, keeping the sarcasm in her voice to a minimum.

“You know, I really am,” Chris agreed, missing any sarcasm completely. “I mean, I’m not going to pretend what happened to me didn’t suck. It did. But being back here, in this place, with you guys? It reminds me of what I had and I loved what I had. I’m young, I’m single, I understand this life.” He walked over to the fridge and Gail suppressed an eye roll. “You know, I know how it works.” He grabbed something from the fridge. “See? Cottage cheese, right where the cottage cheese should be.”

“Yeah,” Dov interrupted, “that’s actually from before you left, I wouldn’t - ugh.” He made a face as Chris took a bite of it anyway.

“You know, I’ve spent the last couple of months living for other people. I’m going to start living for myself again.”

It was hard to summon the will to respond to so much positivity so early in the morning. Gail just yawned. She wondered if she could sneak in five more minutes of sleep before she got in the shower.

Chris continued. “You know, speaking of which, it’s Friday. We should celebrate tonight.”

“Yeah,” Dov agreed, nodding. “Totally.”

Gail shot him a look of death. “NO!” she mouthed. Dov gave her a pointed look as Chris kept talking.

“Oh, I can make those cocktails we found on that Russian website! Remember those?”

Dov looked a little nauseous. “The...the ones that had the...the m-meat in them. Those were...awful.”

“I know!” Diaz agreed, laughing. “It’ll be awesome! Ok? Just like old times.”

As soon as he was out of earshot, Gail turned to Dov. She’d strangle him if she thought she could lift her hands high enough. “I don’t _want_ to party tonight!”

“Yeah, well, neither do I,” Dov responded. “But Chris is going through something right now, and he needs us, so we’re going to be there for him, ok?”

Ugh. It didn’t matter that he had a point. All Gail wanted to do was sleep for the next 48 hours. She gave Dov one more death glare for good measure before shuffling off to the shower. When she got out, she sat on her bed with her phone.

_Gail: Scientifically speaking, how long can a human being survive without sleep?_

_Holly: Longer than three days. You’ll make it, I promise._

_Gail: Apparently I need to party with Dov and Diaz tonight. Because of friendship._

_Holly: Aw, that’s nice of you._

_Gail: Never “aw” me again. It absolutely destroys my street cred._

She got dressed and together the three of them headed to the station. She was paired with Dov for the day, thank god. He was the least annoying of her options. She had been paired with Price yesterday. Her phone was filled with messages from Holly reminding her that she wouldn’t do well in jail, so she should really try to refrain from killing a fellow cop. Dov was manageable in an enclosed space for long periods of time. They sat in the car and Dov chattered away beside her while she mostly tuned him out. She pulled out her phone again.

_Gail: Scientifically speaking, how much caffeine can a human being ingest before they die?_

_Holly: You really need to find other scientist friends._

_Gail: Answer the question._

_Holly: About 6 grams per 100 pounds of body weight._

_Gail: How much do you think I weigh?_

_Holly: No way am I answering that question._

_Gail: Good call._

_Gail: So if I’ve had five cups of coffee already today...?_

_Holly: You’re fine._

_Gail: Gosh, you’re so reassuring._

_Gail: You know, I think I understand why you work with dead people instead of live ones._

_Gail: You should really work on your bedside manner._

_Holly: What do you know about my bedside manner? ;)_

_Gail: :p_

_Gail: I’m so boreeddddddd_

_Holly: I’m sorry. I have to run to a meeting. I’ll text you when I’m out._

_Gail: Fine_

_Gail: Jerk_

_Gail: I’ll never forgive you for leaving me like this._

_Holly. You’re cute when you’re melodramatic._

Gail smiled as she put down her phone. Dov noticed the expression.

“What?”

She immediately wiped the grin from her face and glared at him. “None of your business.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She texted Holly on her way home when they had finally been released.

_Gail: So things got more exciting_

_Holly: Exciting like how?_

_Gail: Big bust. Guns drawn, bad guys resisting arrest. ‘_

_Holly: Wow. Pretty badass._

_Gail: Well, you know. All in a day’s work._

_Gail: I just want to sleep_

_Holly: You heading home?_

_Gail: Heading home to party. With meat cocktails._

_Holly: Meat cocktails?_

_Gail: Trust me. You don’t want to know._

_Holly: After you get some sleep, want to get drinks tomorrow? Sans meat?  
_

_Gail: Maybe. Are you buying?_

_Holly: Duh._

_Gail: I’m there._

_Holly: Good night, crazy. Get some sleep, ok?_

_Gail: I’ll try._

_Gail: Don’t call me crazy._

_Holly: Trust me, babe. It’s a compliment._


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jealous!Gail and Guilty!Holly. Two parts, part one is Gail's perspective, part two is Holly's.

"Ok, ok, ok. _This_ Australian recording artist also appeared on _General Hospital."_

I'm only half listening to the trivia happening around me. I hate trivia. But I perk up at Diaz's confident answer.

"Rick Springfield!"

What an idiot. He sounds so proud of himself. I side-eye him. "Isn't Rick Springfield a band from LA?"

Dov chimes in. "Uh, no, you're thinking Buffalo Springfield."

"I love that song that they did with the, um, with the Pet Shop Boys!" This is Price's contribution from her perch on Dov's lap.

"Baby, you're thinking Dusty Springfield." God, the two of them are disgusting. I want to tell them to get a room, but I'm worried they'd just crawl under the table.

"I am?"

"Yeah."

"Huh."

Dov manages to tear his eyes away from Price for long enough to clear up some of the confusion. Because I was just dying to know the answer. "Chris is right; it's Rick Springfield." Damn. That's unfortunate.

Diaz starts talking. I find myself dozing off. "My mom is actually a huge fan of Rick Springfield. She actually dressed me up once as him for Halloween. I still always wanted to be Spiderman, myself, but my mom didn't see - " Halfway through his speech, Holly walks in. What's she doing here? I haven't seen her in a couple of days; she told me that she's been really busy at work.

I interrupt Diaz's absolutely sickening recollections and stand up. "I retire Champion of the World."

He stares at me. "You're, like, minus 800 points."

Like I care. "Whatever." I saunter over to the bar, carefully approaching her from the right. "Hello." She turns and smiles at me, and I look at the bartender. "Can you make it two?"

"Hey!" God, she looks so happy to see me. That's nice. "I didn't know you'd be here."

She came to the Penny. I'm always here. She must have known I'd be here. Liar. I shrug in response. "Yeah, Dov's on this new trivia kick and he's not going to let us leave until he's crowned king of the dorks."

"Huh." She nods and I pull out some money.

"Hey, why don't I get this and then you can get the next round?" This system is familiar. We usually split rounds when we go out. We haven't come to the Penny very often. Really just that first time, after the batting cages. We usually go to more neutral bars.

Her face changes a little bit as I pay. She looks…a little worried. "Actually, I'm…meeting someone."

"Oh. Sorry." That's weird. Who is she meeting? Another cop? Wait. Like, a date? Is she seriously on a date at the Penny?

"Don't be sorry." She tries to reassure me quickly, but things just got a little awkward. And things are never, have never been awkward between us. I try to think of what someone would normally say in this situation.

"Is it, like, someone someone, or just, like, someone?" That's a normal inquiry, right?

She gives me a slightly embarrassed smile. "I'm not sure yet." Oh, ok. So, that's a date, right?

Holly's gaze bores into mine for a minute. Suddenly her attention shifts as someone walks in. A tall, incredibly attractive someone. "Oh." Huh. Is she Holly's type? I'm not sure how I feel about that. She's nothing like me. Not that I have any reason to compare myself to the girls Holly dates. She turns back to me for a minute, giving me a smile. For a minute, I forget about the other girl. But then she reminds me. "Thanks for the drink."

"No worries." I watch her walk over to the girl. I bet her name is, like, Madeline. Or Monica. Yeah, definitely a Monica. They hug. I sip my drink and watch them.

I walk back over to the table just in time to see Chloe and Dov start making out. Lovely.

"Oh, get this. Chloe just beat Dov."

Of course. "The king of the dorks has found his queen. The nerd empire can rejoice." I sit heavily and glance over at the booth in the corner. Luckily, I have a perfect view. They look so cozy already. Monica is turned towards her, her arm up on the back of the booth. They're both smiling.

Diaz finishes his beer and stands up. "I'm gonna need another drink."

I toss the straw over my shoulder and drain my glass, wincing slightly. I glance up at Chris. "Make mine a double."

He brings me my drink as I continue to stare. I sip my drink and wonder what they're talking about. What do you talk about on a first date? Is Holly telling her the story of the time she found a fork in the stomach contents of an old dead dude? Monica is laughing.

The first time Holly and I hung out, it was in the morgue. We talked about dead people, autopsies, and bones. But that wasn't a date, of course. To be honest, it was better than most of my first dates though.

Now Holly's laughing. She really does have an amazing laugh. Monica looks pleased with herself, the bitch. I can make Holly laugh like that too, lady. Don't get too comfortable. She's still smiling, but she just glanced over at me. You're going to have to work harder than that to keep her attention, Monica. She's probably way too smart for you. She's definitely way too smart for me. Luckily, I make up for it with my other charms. I guess.

Not that Holly is dating me. Not that I'm dating Holly. Just, like, in a friend way. We get along really well. In a friend way. I make her laugh. She makes me happy. In a friend way.

One time, Holly kissed me. In a friend way?

I suddenly realize the table has gone quiet. I glance around. They're all staring at me.

"What?" I snap at them.

Diaz glances at Dov. "We just asked if you were coming. We're heading home, figured we'd grab a cab. Thought you'd…want to come with us."

Shit. I do need a way to get home. I glance at the two women again. As I watch, Monica places her hand lightly on Holly's arm, leaning in to make some kind of a point. Something in me wants to rush over there and rip her throat out. I shake my head, stand up.

"Yeah, ok." We settle our tab at the bar and, with a final glance back at Holly, we head towards the door. I lift my arm, just slightly, give her a tiny wave on my way out. She catches my eye, smiles, nods. I sigh. This night did not go as I had hoped.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

This is a bad idea. A very bad idea. I know it's a bad idea. And yet I'm doing it anyway.

Rachel insisted that I would get along great with this girl. She said she was smart, and funny, and incredibly hot. I tried to explain that I really wasn't in a dating mood lately. She pointed out that I am in a dating mood, but that the only girl I'm interested in dating is straight. I didn't have it in me to argue her point. She's right, I know that. Technically. But there's something between Gail and me, I know it. So, it can't hurt to gauge her reaction if she sees me on a date with someone else, right?

When Olivia called, I agreed to a date and suggested the Penny. Ok, I'm a horrible person. I know that. But it's for the greater good, right?

God, I sound like Hitler.

I decide to get there a little early to scope out the situation. Maybe Gail won't even be there tonight. I haven't seen her in a few days; I've been so busy. So I have no idea what her plans are. The Penny is a great bar. Perfect for a date, regardless. I walk in and scan the room. I don't immediately see her, so I head over to the bar and order my usual. She sneaks up on me.

"Hello."

I turn. My face instinctively breaks into a massive smile. God, my stomach feels like I'm back in middle school. She orders a drink, same as me.

"I didn't know you'd be here," I tell her. Lie. Flat-out lie. I wonder if she can tell. I'm a terrible liar, and she's a cop.

She shrugs. Starts telling me about some trivia kick her friends are on. My brain is a little fuzzy in her presence lately. She's standing really close to me, and I'm more than a little distracted by it. She pulls out her wallet.

"Hey, why don't I get this and then you can get the next round?"

Huh. So she's assuming that we'd spend the night drinking together. She must have known that I knew that she'd be here. Shit. I'm beginning to hate my plan. This was very poorly thought out. "Um, actually, I'm meeting someone."

"Oh, sorry," she responds quickly. I can't read her face at all. Is she surprised? Disappointed? She takes a sip of her drink.

"Don't be sorry," I try to assure her. I feel like an idiot. A childish idiot.

"Is it, like, someone someone? Or just, like, someone?"

Huh. That's also interesting. She's asking if it's a date. Does she care if it's a date? No. Of course not. It's a perfectly reasonable inquiry that a friend would make. She's curious, not jealous.

"Not sure yet," I say with a half-smile. I'm feeling stupid, but I can't stop smiling when I look at her. She just has that effect on me. I glance towards the door just as a see Olivia walk in the door. Rachel showed me her pictures in preparation for this night. She's easy to recognize. She looks like a supermodel. "Oh."

Gail follows my gaze and sees her. Again, I can't read her face, but I feel like I do detect a little hint of…self-consciousness, maybe. A flash of insecurity. I realize I'm staring at her, and my date has just arrived. I force myself to look away and raise my glass slightly towards Gail. "Thanks for the drink."

She nods and I walk over to greet Olivia. I lead her to a booth in the corner. I convince myself that I picked it for it's good lighting and window seating, and not because I have a clear view of Gail's table.

We talk and drink. Rachel was right. She's incredibly interesting and very charming. And yet, I feel nothing. I'm doing all the right things, telling funny stories. She touches my arm, and this would normally be the point in the date where I'd get a little queasy in anticipation of whatever was coming next. But, nothing. I can't stop myself; I glance over at Gail's table. She's staring back at me. How long has she been watching us? She definitely looks…pissed.

At me? I replay our conversation. Other than refusing to drink with her tonight, she has no reason to be mad at me. Unless she actually is somehow jealous.

I can't believe my plan is working.

I glance back over at their table just in time to see Gail stand up. She tilts her head towards me, gives me a wave. She's heading towards the door. I contort my face into a smile, hoping it doesn't look like a grimace.

I don't want to be here with Olivia. I don't want to spend any more time with her. I want to jump up, rush to the door, grab Gail's arm, force her to stay. I want to reassure her that this is nothing, this date means nothing. I want to make her talk to me about whatever she's feeling.

But that's not how Gail Peck works. This was a stupid plan, with no chance of working the way I wanted it to. What did I expect? Some grand declaration of love in the middle of the Penny? Even if she felt something like jealousy tonight, she's going to need time to process it. I'm a patient person. And Gail is worth waiting for.

I force myself to try to focus on whatever Olivia is saying. But I can't. I feel horrible, but I stop her mid-sentence. Apologize. Her face is confused, but she nods. I pay the tab, and we go our separate ways. Back at my apartment, I collapse on my couch and sigh. This night did not go as I had hoped.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when happy things happened with Gail and Holly? Yeah, me too. That was nice. Enjoy some happier times (aka when officers are being shot at? Oops). Thanks for reading =] My thoughts on Golly post 5x07 (SPOILERS if you haven’t watched it yet) are at the end if you feel like reading them.

Gail rounded the corner at the precinct and spotted Holly. She was shifting uncomfortably, glancing around, looking distinctly out of place in the hallway crowded with uniformed officers on high alert. She strode towards her, lifting her arms slightly in confusion. 

“Hey? What are you doing here?”

Holly was struggling to look casual. She was just so relieved to see Gail standing there, safe and sound. She shook her head, forcing herself to remember what pretense she had made up for coming down to the station. 

“Oh, just had to…drop off a report,” she stammered. She tried to look cavalier about the file in her hand. “It’s a murder case from a couple of weeks ago.”

Gail looked confused. “Doesn’t the courier usually bring that stuff over?”

Shit. Holly wracked her brain. “Yeah…he was…sick…or something.” Seriously? That was the best she could come up with? Gail gave her a look, a look that, even after knowing her just a few weeks, Holly could read perfectly. She was calling bullshit on the situation. Holly gave up, grabbing Gail’s sleeve. “Hey, come here.” She dragged the officer into the closest room she could find: an interrogation room. Gail allowed herself to be dragged. 

Holly shut the door behind them and took a few steps towards Gail. Her face had lost its casual appearance and taken on a concerned edge. Her voice was slightly higher than usual when she spoke. “Is it true? I just…” she glanced at Gail. “I heard a rumor that there’s some freak out there hunting you guys.”

Gail furrowed her brow. A rumor that had reached all the way to the morgue? With Chloe in the hospital, she knew it would get out that there had been an attack on an officer. But she wasn’t sure how it had gotten out that Ford’s attack was deliberate. “Yeah, Holly, I’m…not allowed to talk about this.” This time, it was Holly’s turn to call bullshit, and Gail, seeing the look on her face, quickly backed down. She modified her answer, careful to give the most diplomatic response possible. “There’s an officer that was shot, she’s in the hospital, and…a few other officers took fire.” She didn’t specify her own involvement on purpose. She could see that Holly was already worried. She didn’t want to give her more reasons to freak out. 

But Holly knew her too well. Damn her. Gail was astounded when Holly responded with, “You mean you. Someone shot at you? And…and you’re going to go back out there?”

Gail had never seen Holly coming apart like this. It looked like she had tears in her eyes as she paced slightly, glancing at Gail as if to make sure she was still there. Gail tried to answer as gently as possible. “Yeah, Holly, I’m…a police officer.”

Holly’s voice kept getting higher as she retorted, “That doesn’t mean you have to go out there and put yourself in danger!”

If the situation weren’t so dire, Gail would have laughed. Could Holly hear herself? As it was, she was still too thrown by Holly’s emotional state to do anything other than stammer out a gentle, though slightly sarcastic, “Yeah. Kinda does.”

Holly stared at her for a moment. “Ok, well, fine.” She wiped her face and took a deep breath, struggling to compose herself. She had come here to make sure Gail was ok, but she had also come here to clarify something. She was, objectively, more concerned about this part of her visit. “But, listen. That girl, last night? I barely know her, ok? It was a stupid set up.” 

She had changed gears so fast that it left Gail’s gears spinning. But she felt the corners of her mouth lift just slightly before she pulled them into a more controlled expression. Why was Holly telling her this? Had she…had she noticed her staring at them the night before? What did she think? Did she think Gail had been jealous? Had she been jealous? She hoped her face was making some appropriate expression because her heart was racing and she had just realized how close Holly was standing to her and how good she smelled. 

Holly continued, her voice moving in a meandering loop that she was really hoping sounded endearing. “Anyway, I just…I thought you should know. I don’t know why I didn’t tell you. I mean, we tell each other stuff, right? That’s what’s so great, is us hanging out, and I guess that’s why when I heard what was happening, I just thought I should come down here and…I don’t now, just, make sure you’re ok or something…”

As Holly was speaking, Gail was listening intently, more intently than she ever listened at parade. She was listening to not just the words, but also the meaning behind the words. They did tell each other stuff. She had told Holly things that she had never felt comfortable telling anyone else. The way she felt around Holly was different than anything she had felt before. And it was great. She was thinking about watching Holly on a date. Thinking about the way her stomach dropped and her blood boiled watching some random girl touch Holly’s arm. Thinking about the way her heart leapt at Holly’s confession that she wasn’t anyone. Thinking about Holly’s mouth, which was still moving, still rambling. Her lips, slightly moist. Her tongue, which Gail could see sneaking between her teeth. And Gail realized that she wanted nothing more than to kiss her. 

Holly had kissed her, once. In the coat closet at Frank and Noelle’s wedding. She had pressed their lips together as if it was just a continuation of her laugh, as though she just wanted to show Gail how much fun she was having. It had been quick, delicate, and lovely. This was neither quick nor delicate. 

But it was lovely. 

Gail grabbed Holly’s head and frantically pulled her closer. She felt only a momentary hesitation from the brunette before their lips were together. She threaded her fingers through her long hair and cupped her cheek, tighter than she might have wanted. But she couldn’t let go. She felt Holly relax into the kiss, moving her lips gently against Gail’s and placing her hands lightly on her hips. Gail could feel Holly’s fingers through her uniform and it was like her skin was on fire. She broke off the kiss with a tiny gasp. She had shocked herself by her own desperation. 

She hesitantly made eye contact with Holly and gave a little shake of the head. Holly gazed back at her, her face hard to read. 

“I’m sorry,” Gail said softly. Holly’s heart jumped. Was Gail apologizing for kissing her? She wanted to interrupt, tell her not to apologize. But Gail continued. “You just…you just had to stop talking.”

Holly nodded, staring at her with an expression that Gail now recognized as longing. “I won’t say another word.”

Gail pulled her in again, gently this time. There was none of the desperation of the first kiss. But neither was this their kiss in the coat closet. Gail, for the first time, allowed herself to understand that this kiss felt nothing like she had experienced with Chris or Nick. Allowed herself to understand that this girl in her arms was, quite possibly, everything she had ever wanted in life. And allowed herself to melt into the arms of the beautiful woman in front of her. 

Holly couldn’t have said, later, how long they stood in that dark interrogation room kissing. It could have been thirty seconds, or it could have been several hours. She just knew that she was officially a goner for Officer Gail Peck. As she lightly traced Gail’s bottom lip with her tongue and felt the blonde shiver, she knew that there was nothing that she wouldn’t do to make this kiss last forever. 

In actuality, it was a few minutes before Gail pulled away. Holly searched her eyes for any sign that she was freaked out about what transpired, but she was shocked to see that Gail’s normally piercing blue eyes were gazing at her softly. Gail smiled lightly and reached up to touch Holly’s cheek. 

Holly swallowed and chanced some humor. “I should ramble incoherently in your presence more often.” 

Gail nodded. “You really should.” 

They stood there quietly for another minute, Gail’s arms resting on Holly’s shoulders, Holly’s around Gail’s waist. Finally, Gail spoke again, quietly. 

“I really do have to get back out there.” 

Holly nodded. She was terrified to break this spell, but she knew Gail was right. But as Gail stepped away, her fear came surging back. She grabbed her hand and Gail quickly turned. 

“Hey,” Holly said softly. “Please be careful.” 

Gail nodded. “I will. I promise.” She hesitated before taking another step towards Holly and kissing her swiftly. Holly barely had time to react before Gail was at the door. She looked back. “Holly?”

“Yeah?”

Gail swallowed. “Don’t forget how that felt, ok?”

Holly shook her head. “I won’t.” 

Gail nodded again. “Ok.” She pushed open the door and stepped into the hallway, closing the door behind her. Holly took a moment to compose herself before following her. Unfortunately, Oliver was directly outside the door, talking to Gail, and any composure she had managed flew out the window. 

“Hey!” Oliver greeted her with his usual cheer. 

“Hey,” she replied with a too-bright smile. She avoided looking at Gail as she gave him a little wave. 

“Hi.” He said again, and Holly turned and walked away. Oliver turned to Gail, as if he had just realized whom he was talking to. “That’s…your friend from the forensics lab.”

Gail’s answer was quick and defensive. “The courier was sick, Oliver, if you really must know.” 

Oliver looked confused, but Gail didn’t clarify her response as she turned and walked away, her mind racing with thoughts of Holly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so, actually now. SPOILERS FOR ANYONE WHO HASN’T WATCHED UP TO 5x07!!!
> 
> I’m not actually at all angry with how they’re playing out the Golly storyline on the show, as long as that wasn’t actually the end. I think that Gail is one of the main characters of the show, and I think this character arch is incredibly important for her. Between struggling with the Sophie stuff and struggling with the Holly stuff, I think she’s really growing and changing in a very profound way. I do not think this is the end for Gail and Holly, I’m almost positive that they’re using this to develop Gail before she wins Holly back. Because let’s be honest. Neither party is totally at fault here. They both handled things poorly. Holly didn’t defend Gail the way she should have, Gail probably overreacted, and then refused to talk to Holly for WEEKS in the RB timeline. If Holly was genuinely making an effort for all that time and getting nothing from Gail, then all she could do is somehow try to move on. Is she telling the truth about seeing someone? I don’t know. I doubt it’s serious if she actually is. She’s obviously still very much into Gail. The final look, and her walk down the hallway…she was trying to hold herself together. I think Gail realizing what Holly means to her and actually TELLING Holly was HUGE and beautiful, and I think it’s a really big and important moment for Gail. I think that they still have some work to do to overcome this, but I have faith. I think Gail’s character development has been wonderful and I have a lot of faith that the writers know what they are doing and she and Holly are in good hands. 
> 
> Whew, rant over. All that being said, if I continue this fic past 4x13 I might branch out and go non-canon, depending on how I’m feeling.


End file.
